i feel lonley tonight as i sit here alone, on the computer on a friday night. Yeh i know i dont have much of a life.. im normally out on a friday night. But i actually dont see any point in doing so tonight. As a matter of fact i havent been invited anywhere exciting anyways.

I went to the beach today and had a good time recovering from doses of vodka last night. The surf was great but i was too chicken to enter where the sandbar was- which is where the big waves come in and start to break. Anyways besides that ive been looking at a number and i havent thought so hard in my life trying to figure out what to do with it. I suppose its just one of those things in life where theres a reason to believe that life is gay and that i will die a lonely person.

Plus one more thing the next person that tells me 'theres more fish in the sea' is going to cop some shit. I dont like fish. As a matter of fact i hate eating fish. So mayb thats the reason why that cliched statement is so infuriating.

Can life get any worse sometimes. Im a confused, little person, in a big world which is starting to get too big. I think that sums me up at this present time. I feel very selfish. At least my parents arent spliting up. At least i havent had a friend die in an accident. At least i have a roof over my head and food on the table when i want it. I guess life isnt that bad afterall.

But anyways thanks blogger for listening.

Robbie

today was another regulation day of holidays. well actually bfore i go on.. i would like to complain about how much my top inner lip hurts- fuck its killing me. I hit myself with a basket while i was doing basket collecting on chris eve at work and yeh ive got a cut there which has turned nasty!

Anyways today i went to Bradfords house in lurgano grr i like that location.. its so attractive. We helped his dad change the brake disk and pads, it comes in handy learning the various trades to do with cars. We then had a dip in the pool after lunch and well i did well in getting as much water out as i could.. as i usually do- so beware if u have a pool. I also hurt my arse muscule- yes Sam i found out it was possible, but i think i did it differently to how you did. I hit my ass at the bottom of the pool doing a bomb. Anyways we went bowling after that at southgate, and well i bowled shit and out of frustration after i missed all pegs in 2shots, i shouted fuck ya! so yeh all the little kids and family ppl in the near lanes gave me dirties. I sat down and behaved after that. Then we went and played pool at the pub and we beat these challengers older than us... what a joy yay.

So as you can see it was a hectic and physical day. I enjoyed it. my arms and neck are sore.. well even more because of what i did today after yesterday.

Well i have decided to list some tihngs that i have done/ achieved in the year 2005. I read it off someones blog and i thought good idea!

- Got accepted at UNI B Planning
- Turned 18!
- Got drunk legally
- Bought alchohol legally
- Became pro at pool (well not really!)
- Entered my longest relationship with someone (not very long at all)
- Started cricket bankstown sports association BGrade non representative
- Went to University games in Tamworth- invited to Australian Uni Games in Brisbane
- Did 10weeks of Yoga
- Witnessed SWANS PREMIERSHIP VICTORY
- Stayed over night at uni hawkesbury- so fun!

ok well i cant realli think of nething else so i'll just say they were the highlights. yeh im a boring person sorry.

Robbie

So yet another christmas has sneeked up on us.. boy has time flown this year. The ageing process is on the climb and in some ways i still wish i was 15, to those of you that already dont already think i am! Well to be honest i dont wish i was 15 again because then i'd have to go throught hell and back with school expectations, cerfews etc. Trust me life as a 15year old in my household is not sometihng you want to wish for.

But i can deal with being 15 and having a girlfriend and then be my age and still have the same girlfriend.. get married, and have children by the time im 24. Shame the longest relationship ive ever been in in my life is 2months. It makes me come across as having lack of commitment or just not a desirable person for a longterm relationship. I believe im the absolute opposite of those two statements. Im trying to make myself believe that ive stopped trying because i havent, its just things havent fallen into place. At the moment i cherish friendships more than anything else.. they are who make me as a person today- and without them i would be a noone. I have said that so many times, and it is so true.


Well christmas fun, dad cooked up a storm and we enjoyed some family time we rarely get these days. So im happy about that and i cant beleive its all over. New years for me will be an uncertainty.. i dont know whether to set a new years resolution, or just to set clear goals for hte year, or just take it as it comes as i usually do. Well one thing for sure is that i want to be successful at university, bond friendships and make many new friends. Treat people like they should be and have faith in God.

Boxing day was today and im sure theres a reason why its called that, i ought to find out. I watched the cricket on tv australia were doing very well until they lost heaps of wickets. I went and had a bowl in the nets.. and played with some ppl, who i didnt know (wont name them) who didnt have a monkeys arse clue about how to play cricket. They thought they knew but na i dont think so.

Im looking forward to greenwood this thursday.. i wish more of my friends could come up but theres always excuses that its too much of a treck, or they have work the next day, or just plain simple that they are on holidays. The holiday one seems to be most common. Yes most common EXCUSE at that.

Anyways
take care
Robbie

My chrissy is going to be somewhat quite. It always is in contrast to most people i know. Most of my relatives and extended family are overseas in various parts of the world. Its very hard for them to pay a visit but when they do it brings much warmth. Christmas for me is a time of reflection and celebration and i hope we all have a merry one!

I so agree with Danielle on her dec19 blog.. its so quiet without sam, msn is quite... unusually quiet and sean is busy with chrissy preps and getting ready for holiday with his family. So its just that time when you dont quite get time to catch up, but i guess come new years we'll let loose and celebrate into 2006 (thankx for pointing out we are not heading into 2007 jess!).

Well i dont think i have commented on uni results. Well after about a 6-8hr delay (chatty UWS) we got our results on platform web... happy to know i got 4 credits i missed out on getting distinction by2 marks for one subject :( aww. ow well nevertheless im happy.

I also skipped cricket this weekend i dunno why. I woke up and said fuck it. I havent been in that good a form with the bat, while they dont realli want to use me with the ball even though ive been bowling very well and taking wickets(plus dropped catches)

Well talk to u all soon
Robbie

hey

This is my 4th night at home in a row. Wow i neva thought id live to see the day these holidays. Well i am actually serving out my grounding, not socially excluded by my friends :P Yea long story with the grounding but im fine with it. Well ive actually served that out, but since we are in the middle of riots its best to stay at home. Im quite enjoying some time at home and eating healthy and getting into the routine of things.

My premier blog reader is on her honeymoon so this blog will probably go on unread or perhaps uncomented too. Makes me feel just that tad more lonely :( :P

Hope everyones having a good christmas with family and friends. I will have to catch up with you all after chrissy.

Well bye for now
Robbie

hey blogger.

I have been on holidays for about 3weeks now, and when i look back, time seems to have gone past quickly, yet long and action packed. What these holidays havent given me yet, is time to think about things i should be thinking about such as life and where i'm at, where i am heading etc. Well i decided comming back home on the bus last night from Sammys place was a good time to think about a few things. I mean i probably take a lot of things for granted such as having a roof over my head and having food on the table when i want it. I feel selfish when i think about all the joys i have especially when a lot of people dont get the same privaledge.

I must say this year is comming to an end and when i look back on all the things i have done and achieved i am proud of myself. It has probably been the most eventful year where i have made many friends from uni and realli found the meaning of friendship with everyone around me. When school finished i didnt know what to expect. People told me university was just a place with a lot of people and u sit in lecture rooms with hundreds of people often not knowing very many. University for me is just like school, but with fewer people and more freedom. University has been quite an experience and i quite look forward to getting my results and starting next semester?? :S

Anyways, to what i should be talking about. On sat night kim said she wouldnt talk to me (jokingly) because when i told her how much i weighed (while we were talking on a related subject) i think she sorta freeked out and made her feel fat for a second or two. Well the weight i told her is even less now for some reason. Well i know the reason... too many late nights, eating unhealthy, varying meal times, not enough fruit and vegies, and prob long term drinking. Uhuh i intend to adress this problem in the next few weeks while everyones busy with chrissy and holidays. Which means i wont b going out as often as in the past few weeks and staying at home a little more.

Lastly,Was nice to catch up with my good uni friends again... well i mean do i have to say 'uni friends' cant we just be friends without the uni bit :P It makes it sound that we are friends only confined to uni and stuff. Anyways we spent the day at Sammys with freshy just down the road! So we enyoyed the flat surf again and the sun for quite a while. It got fairly windy and choppy in the arvo but it was still good. I must say im getting better at mario cart i did get a first i think, well i lost count after that :P Monty was happy to greet me apparently the naughty puppy had munched on some chocolate it shouldnt have!! It seems to love its new toy it gets quite grumpy when u take it away from him for a period of time. It is quite an active and energetic dog.. aww its so cute. I realli do wish i had a pet... We had pizza for dinner boy was it nice.. nicest pizza ive had for ages. It had stopped raining when i left so i get on the bus and then train for the treck back home. It wasnt all that bad coz there were people on the bus and train and i enjoyed the alone time. Anyways talk to u all soon.

Robbie

I was talking to Jess before and she said she dosent remember the sms she sent me last night because it was probably done in her sleep :S then i told her to wait while i checked in my over flowing inbox on my phone... omg, i felt like a tool after i said that because it makes me sound like im so popular. I have met so many new people this week, like i mean many many many, but i havent got any numbers. I think its partly on my behalf that i dont readily flash my number around or go hounding for them myself.

Last night was quite a blast. However i must say, to wake up this morning and recieve a msg from dave saying "we met those chics again in darling harbour, your loss" implying they had run into those chics again after matt and i left at around 230. What the Fuck, i must say. "YOUR LOSS"??? i think you have just ruined my day!

Well i'll start from the begining. We (me, matt, dave, laurence and pom mark) met up in the city for daves bday we planned on shouting him dinner and drinks all night. So yeh after our meals we went to pavillion after deciding we didnt want to pay to get into any nightclubs for the moment. So after getting in we beat these guys to keep the pool table and that was our spot for the night. Three chics came and sat near us later on and thats when dave and laurence said they knew one of them from school (yea right!) anyways i thought the chic who looked like sophie monk (i mean dead set she did if she told me she was sophie id believe her) was heaps hot. So throwing out all the 'hard to get' and thinking of killer pik up lines dave and laurence goes up to the girl they thought they knew and asked her "hey did u go to carlingford high" lucky they pulled that off so i invited Kim or was it Kat (the sophie look a like) to a game of pool she was on my team. I cant remember if we won but we had fun.

Ok so still in the pavillion, enter matt.. who piks up some girls well one of them was older like 25. We had a good chat to them until they had to go yep we said out byes. Then later on the other chics had to leave and i got a kiss and hug from Kim ohh she was smiling at me all night hehe ow well i blame dave and/or laurence for not getting her number.

So yeh we played pool, daytona, and air hockey that was heaps fun. We went to maccas for a feed and then what do u know dave and matt couldnt help them selves but pik up more chics who where eating on the table across from us. So yeh i dragged them away because she was talking abit slow and she was blonde and stupid. I left with matt because it takes forever to get home and he had a car from a station near home.

When we left, mark, dave and laurence continued their journey into cargo bar at darling harbour and i believe they ran into kim, chloe and candice (omg i remember) again. YEA THANKX DAVE- MY LOSS. Hope u had a good night and happy bday!

Tuesday hangout? nothing yet?...Green this thursday? We'll have to see.

Take Care All
Robbie

4th Post for the Week

I cant believe i have blogged more times this week than any other week for a long time, yet it is one of my busiest weeks. Chrissy is comming around and i am dead set broke.. people would just have to settle for cheap pressies sorry ;)

I dunno what it is about time these days. Since so much has happened everything seems to have happened sooo long ago. Like i remember as far back as tuesday when i had a great time at Sammy's and the beach, but even that seems like it was so forever- ago *sigh. They say life goes quiker as you get older.. i dunno about that and i dunno if its a good or bad thing. I have figured out that 4standard drinks is a 'safe' consumption on a daily basis. I recon i blow the weekly aggregate of 28standard drinks (counting 4S.D per day!), in 2big nights during the week. Anyhows im not that bad so its ok.

They called me in to work yesterday night and i dunno why i said yes but i did. 5hr shift from 630 to 1130pm. I was dead tired as u could imagine but deep down i knew i needed money so that made me work. In the end i actually wasnt that tired so it was ok (thats my fitness for you!). I really want to go to Melbourne but only if funds allow me to and enough of my mates come.

I think the only reason im blogging so often is because im doing so much that even when im not doing anything for 2mins im bored. Im getting used to the hectic lifesytle that only permits non stop activity. Anyways i just remembered i forgot to mention that the 'safe' consumption of alchohol for WOMEN is 2standard drinks ow well we all know they are lightweights even though they drink twice as much as us guys. Well the one thing we dont do for sure is drink champagne in the gutters.. like i mean that just blows the 2standard drinks and makes u a bum on the street hehe ;) yes we all know who im talking about, we still luv ya :P

Robbie

hot and tired...

I am hot and tired as the heading of this blog suggests. I came home this morning at 3 thankx to the cabie who drove me home from central for just $50 after some negotiation hehe. i've neva tried it but i recon it would cost me about $70-80. So then i decided to call off the 'date' with Nicole because i was tired and figured out i could not wake up by 9 since it was already 330. But yeh she called me at 9 when i was still fast asleep and my mom had to wake me up to tell me i had a call!! So yeh i thought it was rather slack to call it off and decided to postpone it till 11:30 so i went back to bed and got a good 1hr sleep. Anyways we saw saw2 it was ok i think it was a good movie and how they combined it with what happened in saw1.

Last night was good when erin said for sean to bring a few friends he took me and andrew since everyone else sooked out and that it was too far and that they had work the next day etc. As for erin at Wentworth hotel, um the girl with the lollies i forget her name had organised it as a chrissy get together sorta thing and half her year was there so us 3randoms as opposed to about 40people who all knew each other.. it was good tho coz we got to meet many people. Everyone piked up but me.. i had one drink and concentrated on my pool and guess what i came out vitor kiked everyones ass omg i was playing like a pro i swear. I neva seem to have the desire to get numbers unless i really do get along with someone and theres that connection u know something is right. That neva seems to work for me i either dont drink enough, drink too much or just go all wierd or the ones that try to crack on to me i totally dont have any desire for.

Anyways i had a good night its good to meet people from that scope of sydney, like i mean i neva go out west to any clubs or pubs or normally talk to people from up north. So yeh its a good change. Local people are getting boring lol and its interesting with people from different areas and walks of life.

Well I think next tuesday for my uni friends we should go to the beach again if the weathers still this hot coz its a perfect time to get skin cancer or just to enjoy the surf. Anyhows we'd have to see. Im very poor so everything is budget for me now.

Take care everyone
Robbie

hey blogger i had loads of fun today.. as i always do with my best uni buds :P We all trecked ova to Sammy's place in Manly but i think it was worth it. We played mario cart on the nintendo64 yay was it fun (not realli coz i came 4th everytime!!), but nevertheless im so getting a nintendo64 and im gonna practice day and night just like Sammy did preparing to play us yes we know dont deny it :P So get ready for some ass whooping next time (well then again, not really!! but shh) Freshy was pretty nice the surf was fairly flat but it was still good. Im so jealous of the north now i think its way nice than down Cronulla way- i mean the people and the chics and everything, so much nicer!!

Sorry for the stupid blog yesterday i think it was the stupid weather combined with a stupid mood that made me write such crap! i should have to let anyone read things like that about myself. Anyways i really do appreciate ur comments they are heart felt and i suppose in the end thats what makes u smile- knowing u have friends that care. We all question why bad things happen to us but thats just life and it is when we come through at the other end of the tunnel, that makes us a stronger person. I dont need people to worry about me when things go wrong because usually people wont know anyways.. i spend more of my time worrying about my friends because i know in the end im going to be alright. When you make me smile u'll know im happy and that is what matters in the end.

Thankx for your precious time blogger
Stuff im writing realli belongs in my diary written and kept in my drawer so i hope if anyones reading this and are thinking otherwise, they can stop reading.

Robbie

hey

i feel in between well and not very well, and the weathers not helping. As a matter of fact i have not felt quite right since thursday, i dont think ive had the time to rest and recover. My weekend was hectic.. had cricket on sat then went out to watch the soccer game sydney vs melbourne it was alright but not realli my cup of tea. Sunday i went to the beach but didnt realli go out into the surf and then went bowling- that was fun i got 147 in my second game im so proud of my score.

I have trouble comprehending many issues in life, and i think about it quite frequently. There are many things in life that we as individuals have no control over. For example we all know terrorism in australia is inevitable.. we cant stop it and one day lots of innocent people are going to die. Its a war we cannot win. I have also realised that i am scared to die.. i can be told i got cancer tmrow and then die within months or i could be hit by a bus. I would hate to be old and then slowly deteriorate and die also. I could go on forever about that but im actually not in the mood and im stugglying bigtime to express myself.

Im happy for the friendships i have.. and i guess thats what makes me want to wake up in the morning knowing that i have people who care about me. Im still looking for that special someone and i guess if i have anything missing in my life it would be that. I once thought i would have one girlfriend and then marry her and live happily ever after.. but obviously thats not to be. I dunno if i have too higher expectations. Drinking alchohol has been on the rise again it can actually peak to a few times a week now which is making me emotionally unstable and think about things i dont want to think about such as the stuff mentioned in my blog.

I really dont want to read what ive read even tho i have and i sound like a total nut. But as i said im stuggling to express my feelings. I actually dont want any1 to read this but if i have then shutup and understand that this is my personal blog and the only way i can actually express anything that i dont to my friends or a counsellor.

On a little different note.. Sam when i think about it it makes me quite sad.. i hope things work out, if u need a chat im always here hey besides thats what friends are for right? anyways most probably see u tmrow with my other dear uni friends :)

Bye for now sorry if ive made anyone reading this depressed because that is what i have made myself.

Robbie

sick.. but not quite sick sick.. just groggy- uno that kind of feeling you get after a big night out clubbing and pretty much getting wasted? yeh i believe its called a hangover. I went to bed at 3.30 this morning and then woke up 9:30 coz i couldnt sleep. i had brekie but then fell asleep on the couch and woke up in time for lunch.

Anyways, supprisingly i remember most of what happened last night. i actually feel like my sentences arent making any sence the alchohol is realli killing my brain cells i think i just need to drink heaps of water today. i just remembered i have work tnight im full buggered i hope i recover in time and i hope some nice chics are actually working tonight otherwise its going to be hell.

Greeny was awesome. it didnt start well tho coz sammy, ben, sean and me were waiting for happy hour to start supposedly at 8:30 when it was about 7:50 so all of us were getting very agitated and me i was getting nervous coz i was thirsty and just needed alchohol. Thankx sam for the useful "happy hour starts at 8:30" information. Im not gonna detail my night coz too many things happened and yeh i felt pretty sick a lot of the night.. and sad too :( Very sorry sammy about the drinks and yeh other stuff (u dont need me mentioning it here)

Anyways i cant/ dont want to think anymore. Bye

Robbie

im gonna get ready to go to greeny soon.. happy the suns out- they predicted thered be a hailstorm with hailstones the size of cricket balls hitting western sydney tnight. i wanna get out of the house bfore then, though we probably wont get the bad part of the storm.

well ive had an ulcer in my inner lip for the past few days its annoying me bigtime everytime i talk it hurts so im talking a bit funny if anyones been wondering.

Anyhows i shall blog later as i have to go have a shower.

bye